When Optimism Is No Match For Your Inner-Critic (and What You Can Do To Win!)

I’ve always thought of myself as a positive person and others have often commented on this natural strength in me for as long as I can remember. 

But the positivity and confidence that professional and personal success requires is much deeper than just a “sunny, optimistic, “I can do it!” outlook”, as the following personal story illustrates from my own life… 

Eh, it doesn’t matter if I don’t attend… it’s not required and no one will notice anyway… there’ll be plenty of other people there… I won’t be missed….

and I didn’t attend the employee event that evening.

The next day, a caring and perceptive colleague who noticed my absence, unexpectedly took me aside and gently explained that when I don’t show up, I’m missed. My presence matters. When I participate, it makes a difference. And no one else can fill my seat at the table except me.  

This was #newsflash to me… and to be honest, I still only half-believed him at the time, but certainly appreciated his kind feedback and received it more as a compliment than than the deeper message and truth revealed to me that day. 

Looking back, I wasn’t even aware of the low self-worth and self-esteem I carried around within myself. 

I also wasn’t aware that I’d learned how to use my “positivity strength” as a survival mechanism to avoid negativity and negative feelings like the plague as much as possible whenever I could.

I’d been brave in other ways though, and typically felt a sense of belonging, admiration and respect around others. 

I enjoyed appearing on camera as a weekly TV co-host of a popular Catholic program in front of 110 million homes across the globe broadcasted on a highly successful Christian network.   

The introvert in me never blinked an eye… it was a great honor, privilege and fun experience. 

Before long, I was offered the chance to launch my own Catholic TV ministry show under the umbrella of an already highly successful brand.

Yet when it came time to raise money and ask people for donations to support this exciting opportunity in front of me, I froze.  I simply could not get past the thoughts running through my mind:  

How can I ask people to donate their hard-earned dollars to support something so “non-essential” as a Catholic TV show I’m hosting?  That’s ridiculous… who would pay for such a silly project?  How selfish.  I’m not one of those awful, unethical televangelists scamming innocent people.  The viewers tuning in are already struggling, perhaps, even financially. I can’t burden them more. What a hypocrite I’d be. I’d feel too guilty asking for donations. They should be able to turn on their TV and hear the Word of God free.  

Never mind the few hundred thousand dollars it cost to run a TV Ministry at that time over 20 years ago.

Looking back, grants would have been the way to go. However, being new to the financial side of nonprofits at the time, and triggered by my own invisible money fears and limiting beliefs, grants didn’t even cross my mind. 

The inner-critic can be brutal {even when you’re an optimist}. 

The overwhelming fear and doubt that all the negative self-talk created, took me out of the game, so to speak, and the opportunity dissolved into thin air.  My self-esteem sank a little lower (though I was still unaware of it’s role and silent impact) and the television airwaves carried on… without me. 

I later reflected back on the words of that special colleague who had noticed my absence at the employee event. His words reverberate in my mind:

Marlene, when you don’t show up, you’re missed. Your presence matters. Your presence makes a difference. And no one else can fill your seat at the table except you.  

Perhaps you can relate to being a positive person too, and the negativity that still bounces around in your head, leading to tunnel vision, limiting creativity and holding you (and others) back from experiencing your beautiful contribution, gifts and potential? 

Fortunately, life is about learning from mistakes and missed opportunities.  New doors open.  Fresh invitations arise. Hope is renewed. Different possibilities and experiences take shape for reaching our dreams and goals. 

Over the past 5 years, I’ve built a private coaching practice as a money mindset coach for women solopreneurs and successfully published my book Moneywings™: Unfolding Your Financial Potential in 2018. I’m excited to continue equipping women with an empowered mindset to pursue their dreams and goals.

Because dear heart-centered female entrepreneur, when you don’t show up, you’re missed! Your presence matters. Your presence makes a difference. And no one else can fill your seat at the table except you.  

What I’ve professionally and personally learned is this: 

The #1 most valuable skill that separates unsuccessful vs. successful female entrepreneurs is learning how to let go of negative self-talk.   Only 20% of individuals achieve their true potential due to the destructive nature of negativity. I can honestly say that I’ve come this far, and will only reach my bigger dream and financial goals, because of a positive, rather than negative mindset. 

I care deeply about the unique challenges new (or aspiring) women entrepreneurs face in the early stages of launching and growing their business which cause stress, frustration, doubt in their ability to have the freedom, flexibility and income potential they dream about.  

I’m passionate about helping them feel more confidence, ease and joy on their entrepreneurial journey (yes, it’s possible!) so they can succeed in creating a business and life they love. 

That’s why I’m excited to share that as part of my coaching practice, I have partnered with Positive Intelligence, Inc. to share a 6-Week program offered by the CEO and Founder, Shirzad Chamine.  

If you aren’t familiar with Shirzad, he’s the author of the New York Times best-selling book, Positive Intelligence., and a Stanford lecturer.  He’s taken his breakthrough research in neuroscience and the data he’s collected from over 500,000 people to create a 6-Week program that helps people re-wire their brain for more happiness and success.

If you’re interested in learning more, please don’t miss this opportunity to join me for this exciting *new* FREE event I’m leading… 

Positive Intelligence® FREE Masterclass, “Mental Fitness for Female Entrepreneurs” where you’ll learn how to grow 3 core mental muscles to thrive in challenging times for improved performance and happiness. 

TO REGISTER, click here

You’ll also be the FIRST to hear more details on how to secure one of 5 seats I’m offering to participate in a powerful new 6 Week LIVE training with me that starts June 5th to finally breakthrough negativity and 5X your positive mindset! 

PQ Mental Fitness is the most effective, practical, fastest and sustainable path I’ve experienced to date for letting go of negative self-talk and creating the confident, focused, positive mindset that successful entrepreneurship requires.

REGISTER HERE for my FREE MASTERCLASS and you’ll receive the ZOOM link to join free! 

Negative self-talk is something you can control and convert into improved performance professionally and personally. Through recent breakthroughs in neuroscience and technology, you can now have the game-changing tools, and strategies to understand what’s actually stopping you from creating a business and life you love and learn how to disrupt those negative patterns for good.

I hope to see you there! 

NOTE: If you can’t attend my FREE LIVE Workshop on Wednesday, but would like to learn more about how to 5x boost your positivity through mental fitness, there will be a recording available and sent later for those who register.  So be sure to register here to RSVP so that you can receive the recording. 🙂